Christmas Spirits

'Tis the season etc.

I've never been much of a Christmas person. So this is more meaningful than it might appear:

Overpriced middle class ornaments from the William Morris Gallery down the road

That's the first Christmas tree I can remember ever buying for myself. Partly that's because in the past I had cats, and hyperactive Bengals don't mix with ornaments and lights. But partly it is because I was a bit of a Christmas snob. “LOL at the basics enjoying their arbitrary cultural ritual; I however am too cool for school”.

What gives? Back in hospital I was assured that, against expectations, the accident did not leave me with permanent brain damage. Hence another explanation is required.

I guess it looks like this.

Christmas 2024: In-depth read of the Wikipedia article on rail suicide

Christmas 2023: Spinal rehab at Stanmore, watching Carols from King’s on Christmas Eve, alone. Thinking: “I was once in the audience for that”; “I am never going to see the King’s College ever again”; “I'm so fucked it's untrue. I should end it soon.”¹

Christmas 2022: Flying to Vietnam on Boxing Day with my then partner, so I've had the bright idea of spending Christmas on my own. Told myself I didn't care (too cool for school). Turns out that eating pizza alone while watching Netflix is an absolutely miserable way to spend the big day. Who would have guessed?!

So I have resolved for Christmas 2025 to be different. Which of course is a function of actually feeling different. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suddenly "a Christmas person". But semi-performative Grinchery seems…self-defeating. Hence, behold the tree.

Perhaps needless to say, and as long-term readers are well aware, it has not been an easy road to get to this point. But I thought now would be a good time to acknowledge some of the organisations that have played a big part in getting me here.

Here are three charities you might consider donating to, in the Christmas spirit etc. All have helped me get something like a life together, and are of course doing the same for many others.

Spirit of the Past

Horatio’s Garden build and maintain gardens for the UK's dedicated spinal NHS rehab facilities.

They do this to provide patients with much needed respite from having to live on a hospital ward, for months at a time, whilst trying to adjust to life-changing injury. The gardens are maintained by top level gardeners, and are truly beautiful. They are of course wheelchair accessible, and contain dedicated pods in which one can sit either alone, or with friends and family. This provides much needed privacy and escape, in an environment where there is otherwise literally none to be had.

The gardens are staffed by a mix of employees and volunteers, who provide things like painting and craft classes, or just an opportunity to grab coffee and a slice of cake. Local musicians often come by to give live performances.

I estimate that I spent well over 100 hours in the facilities provided by Horatio’s Garden during my four months at Stanmore. The truth is I hated my time in rehab, and consider those the worst days of my life. But one thing that got me through was the Garden. I shudder to think what it would have been like to go without it. Which was very much the norm until recently, as they only started building these in 2012, with Stanmore’s arriving in 2020. The eighth dedicated centre opened in Sheffield this year, with plans in progress for the remaining three.

Please consider helping them to continue their fantastic work.

Spirit of the Present

When training with the England under 21 team in 2005, Matt Hampson suffered a catastrophic cervical spinal injury, leaving him paralysed from the neck down and requiring a ventilator 24 hours a day.

A professional rugby player tipped to go to the very top, his life changed beyond imagining. (I would strongly recommend reading his book, one of the best memoirs about spinal cord injury that I have come across.)

But what this guy has subsequently built…I genuinely lack the words to do it justice. So I will just try and give a snapshot, by telling you what the Matt Hampson Foundation has done for me.

In September 2024, they invited me to visit the centre headquarters in Leicestershire. I spent a week living in a fully wheelchair accessible lodge, itself considerably nicer than my own flat. Every day I received at least three hours of physiotherapy, physical training, and facilitated exercise, in the state of the art gym they have on site. I was also able to socialise with other beneficiaries, as well as the friendly and welcoming staff.

The cost? £0

Because I met the eligibility criteria of having suffered a life changing disability through sport.

Then they let me do it again in January and April of this year, once more for free. They also paid for me to fly a plane in Cambridgeshire in July. Yes, really. (It was only a little one - but still!) Since August, they have been paying for me to receive personal training at the London Velodrome on the Olympic Park, where I am trying to help set up a regional hub for the Foundation.

Back when I first visited, I felt hope about my future for literally the first time since I woke up in hospital. It wasn't a silver bullet, and there were certainly many low points to follow. But more than any other organisation, the Matt Hampson Foundation has helped me get my life back on track

Spirit of the Future

Earlier this year I became involved with the charity Spinal Research UK. They reached out to me after somebody made a large anonymous donation to them following syndication of this Substack in The Observer.

This has led to me becoming involved with the neuroscience team at King's College London - which is convenient because they were technically my colleagues already! The aim is that I offer the perspective of lived spinal cord injury experience, to help them develop trials and secure future funding for research. It is early days, but I'm hopeful that in the future I can do it a bit more than simply "raise awareness”.

In the meantime, I have become an ambassador for Spinal Research UK. My first official duty will be welcoming people to the inaugural Christmas carol concert in London next week. I think it might be sold out now, but there are plenty of other ways to support the organisation.

And this promises to be a very big year indeed. The first ever therapeutic treatments for spinal cord injury have now emerged, in part thanks to the Pathfinder2 trial that Spinal Research helped facilitate. The next step is getting the Arc-EX technology, that they have helped prove really works, out to as many SCI survivors as possible.

***

In the meantime, thanks to everyone who has been following my odd journey (my odyssey?) on here for the past couple of years.

[insert festive cliché here]²

1. In fact, I have seen it again. November just gone, before giving a paper at the Cambridge Political Thought and Intellectual History seminar. A double homecoming, I once never thought would happen.

2. Still 2C4S