Paul....please keep writing. If where you go does not give you adequate care....let us all know....I happen to have cerebral palsy on my left hand side, I use a quad stick....to live with a disability from birth is so different from having disability thrust upon you. I am not in anyway comparing the both btw. But I do know the system and how to fight it. So keep us updated. Please.
I often think about something you have written as i go about my day with an internal promise to myself to write to you later. Inevitably time passes and i do forget....(easily unfortunately) due to short term memory issues.
For my own well being i have decided to have a total break from social media for a few months.
I will light a candle for you and send a good wish your way intermittently.
Try to be kind to yourself.
Don't even attempt doing anything ir trying to think anything through when you're tired. It's the doorway to self criticism and loathing.
You are coping remarkably well...believe it or not. Keep writing.
For now i send love and many blessings to you and your team.x Angela (in retreat).
Your writing serves as memento mori to those of us still taking life on two able legs for granted (I try not to, but naturally I do.) I’m also following Hanif Kureishi’s chronicles, and both of you paint a grimness that’s distressing and at the same time fascinating. I am grateful to you and your brave and glorious brain. Please keep writing: the words you have been sending out are wondrous and moving. X
The first part of this post brought to mind Vipassana meditation practice. Have you ever read anything about that? I learned about it when I saw a short film in the 1990’s called Doing Time Doing Vipassana about meditation practice in Indian prisons. It kind of changed my life. Let me know what you think. The second part of your post made me think of Buddhist teachings and how helpful they can be when you are suffering (specifically that suffering is caused by 1) attachment to outcome and 2) fear of change). They helped me during a very bad time, anyway. Hang in there. P.S. did u see Hanif’s last post about having a nice day?! It is possible still.
I always read your posts. You're really good at expressing your feelings/thoughts and describing the context. I wonder though...is writing therapeutic for you? What are you writing for? Is it for your (mainly) anonymous readers? Do you feel a connection with us? I think lots of people connect with you and l hope this offers some sort of support for you. I think we're all rooting for you and hoping that you will get through the next phase well. And we're waiting for your book.
Thanks for writing. Goodness, anyone would be scared in your situation. In one of my favorite books, "Jayber Crow" by Wendell Berry, one of the characters remarks, "The mercy of the world is you don't know what's going to happen." I think about that line often. Tomorrow I go back to the oncologist for my 3-month checkup. Soon you will be going to a nursing home that you know nothing about. People in many parts of the world don't know where their next meal will come from or where they'll sleep that night. We are doomed and privileged to live this life moving forward. All we can do is have compassion for others and ourselves, and to do the best we can to change what we can. And, I remind myself daily, to have grace about what is out of my control, which seems to be more and more things as I get older. It does help to know that people care and are thinking about you. So: best of luck and I'll be thinking about you.
I hope you'll find the inner strength and balance to pull you through this moment of uncertain transition.
It may read weird, but I must admit that the 2020 Covid isolation experience has helped me a lot (Italy shut down for two months in 2020 and I could only go out to drop the garbage). I guess I learnt that when there's nothing you can do to change things, you better find new ways to keep yourself busy. I keep working, which keeps me sane, and I get bored - but that doesn't drive me crazy anymore. I also cry a lot, clearly not a solution to anything but it helps.
Paul....please keep writing. If where you go does not give you adequate care....let us all know....I happen to have cerebral palsy on my left hand side, I use a quad stick....to live with a disability from birth is so different from having disability thrust upon you. I am not in anyway comparing the both btw. But I do know the system and how to fight it. So keep us updated. Please.
Best wishes as you move on Paul.
I hope it turns out to be better than you fear.
I often think about something you have written as i go about my day with an internal promise to myself to write to you later. Inevitably time passes and i do forget....(easily unfortunately) due to short term memory issues.
For my own well being i have decided to have a total break from social media for a few months.
I will light a candle for you and send a good wish your way intermittently.
Try to be kind to yourself.
Don't even attempt doing anything ir trying to think anything through when you're tired. It's the doorway to self criticism and loathing.
You are coping remarkably well...believe it or not. Keep writing.
For now i send love and many blessings to you and your team.x Angela (in retreat).
Your writing serves as memento mori to those of us still taking life on two able legs for granted (I try not to, but naturally I do.) I’m also following Hanif Kureishi’s chronicles, and both of you paint a grimness that’s distressing and at the same time fascinating. I am grateful to you and your brave and glorious brain. Please keep writing: the words you have been sending out are wondrous and moving. X
The first part of this post brought to mind Vipassana meditation practice. Have you ever read anything about that? I learned about it when I saw a short film in the 1990’s called Doing Time Doing Vipassana about meditation practice in Indian prisons. It kind of changed my life. Let me know what you think. The second part of your post made me think of Buddhist teachings and how helpful they can be when you are suffering (specifically that suffering is caused by 1) attachment to outcome and 2) fear of change). They helped me during a very bad time, anyway. Hang in there. P.S. did u see Hanif’s last post about having a nice day?! It is possible still.
Dear Paul
I always read your posts. You're really good at expressing your feelings/thoughts and describing the context. I wonder though...is writing therapeutic for you? What are you writing for? Is it for your (mainly) anonymous readers? Do you feel a connection with us? I think lots of people connect with you and l hope this offers some sort of support for you. I think we're all rooting for you and hoping that you will get through the next phase well. And we're waiting for your book.
All the very best! 💗
Thanks for writing. Goodness, anyone would be scared in your situation. In one of my favorite books, "Jayber Crow" by Wendell Berry, one of the characters remarks, "The mercy of the world is you don't know what's going to happen." I think about that line often. Tomorrow I go back to the oncologist for my 3-month checkup. Soon you will be going to a nursing home that you know nothing about. People in many parts of the world don't know where their next meal will come from or where they'll sleep that night. We are doomed and privileged to live this life moving forward. All we can do is have compassion for others and ourselves, and to do the best we can to change what we can. And, I remind myself daily, to have grace about what is out of my control, which seems to be more and more things as I get older. It does help to know that people care and are thinking about you. So: best of luck and I'll be thinking about you.
I hope you'll find the inner strength and balance to pull you through this moment of uncertain transition.
It may read weird, but I must admit that the 2020 Covid isolation experience has helped me a lot (Italy shut down for two months in 2020 and I could only go out to drop the garbage). I guess I learnt that when there's nothing you can do to change things, you better find new ways to keep yourself busy. I keep working, which keeps me sane, and I get bored - but that doesn't drive me crazy anymore. I also cry a lot, clearly not a solution to anything but it helps.
All the best!
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Hope it goes ok today, Paul.
Good luck tomorrow Paul. I’ll be thinking of you 💪